The Immortal Chat: Episode 2

A second episode to the story starring an immortal and the constant commentary of the hundreds of spirits watching her, twitch-chat style.

| CW: swearing, some violence, some mature humor |
| Disclaimer: This an old writing style from several years ago. I do not endorse nor approve of things characters may say or do. |

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"Suddenly I saw something flash into view. I lunged forward shoving them out of the way, safe…"

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Episode 2

Opening my eyes, I grimaced as the backlog of chat hit me. The comments had kept running all night, and waking up to a packed stream hit hard. I usually needed a couple minutes to breathe and let my mind sort through the new information.

Not that there was any information worth knowing being discussed in chat, it appeared that they were having a contentious argument. As per usual.

*wtf man, idk why you keep repeating that DC is best
*like a friggin broken record
*its the damn truth and you know it
*fuck your fake truth, DC sucks
*you’re just saying that because you don’t have anything good to say about Marvel you just want to hate on DC
*fuck no, Marvel has much cooler superheroes
*guys wth, they’re both good can we stop arguing
*idc about superheroes so whatev

I sighed as I got to my feet and stretched, chat’s argument spinning through my head and giving me a bad headache. Great, that’s a fabulous start to the day.

“All I’m gonna say here guys, besides from shut up cause you’re giving me a headache,” I said as I rummaged around for clothes, “is that Marvel has Deadpool. QED.”

*omg she’s right
*gg man
*Deadpool wins
*fuck ya he does
*oh go fuck yourselves
*fuck you back bro
*thats it I’m leaving, let me know when the idiots are done bickering

Yanking off my nightshirt, I slipped on a tshirt and jeans and ignored the catcalls of chat. There was a time when I felt uncomfortable with chat’s commentary on my appearance. Now I just ignore them when they get too annoying, or if worst comes to worst threaten them with yanking their privs. Usually if I mute the troublemakers and take away their favorite commands for a while they behaved better... for a little while at least.

A faint shaft of warm sunlight came in from a gap in the curtain. I walked over and drew it aside, basking for a moment in glorious sunshine. No matter how many hundreds of thousands of times I’ve felt the morning sun, I always stop and appreciate it as though it were the first.

*wth, why are we enjoying the sun when we should be killing fools
*cmon man, she’s earned it chill out
*ngl this is boring af
*shes being cute, come off it
*you mean, take off
*you take off, eh?
*all of you take off
*what are you talking about
*omg you don’t know?
*fucking newb, eh. Take off!

Rolling my eyes, I went to go grab my gear, letting the background of chat just flow past without paying too much attention. Knife, boots, other knife... I snagged a fiver to get breakfast with before I left my little place, climbing out the window and closing the glass carefully. Living in the eaves had its pros and cons. For me, it was perfect. Easy in, easy out, high up and discreet. And no worries about my secret room being found, given that I own the building anyway.

*where to today boss
*pls can we go beat up people today like for real
*ya these small fry you’ve been handling are boring
*hey I like these peaceful days
*the fuck? Why
*hey baby you can always handle me if you’re bored
*peaceful=boring, duh
*bro I’m a dude I’m not handling nothin of yours
*KappaPride KappaPride KappaPride

“Settle down guys, I’m not going to go looking for trouble today, but I’ll at least take a walk around town. Deal?”

*fine
*i guess whatever
*cant you go beat someone up anyway
*ya it’s for science
*that's some weird science
*from my heart and from my hand why don’t people understand my intentions
*fuck no dude
*omg ppl pls don’t encourage him he’ll keep singing

Humming under my breath, I leapt softly to the ground and strolled out of the alley. Nobody paid me a second glance with my average looks and nondescript clothes. I could hear people chatting to each other, normal everyday conversation. A couple caught my eye. They weren’t too much different than anybody else, but they laughed and smiled easily with each other. As they crossed the road, the man’s hand rested on her back gently. There wasn’t much that made me miss mortality anymore, but it’d hit me in the most random of times and places. Fucking annoying.

Suddenly I saw something flash into view. I lunged forward shoving them out of the way, safe… then the 15 ton bus barreled into me.

*OMG
*what the fff
*HOLY SHIT
*MADRE DI MIOS
*omg what was that??!?!?
*Bus!
*you’re late it’s already here you idiot
*i can’t type that fast ok??
*we’re spirits wtf man, I’m not typing shit
*who the f cares!! Is she ok??

I lay there, dazed. My side felt warm, and wet. My fingers… huh they weren’t responding. That’s weird. Wait I need to focus… I don’t want to end up in the hospital again. I need to get up.

*whats going on
*shes in shock I think
*you think?? What you you fucking know
*idk why do we even care
*you fucking monster
*well for one thing if she’s in a coma wtf are we going to watch
*ya eternity without entertainment would be boring af
*get up, you can do it

It’s no use, I’m trying to get up but my body won’t obey. I can’t even move, and sleep is looking better and better.. just a little nap wouldn’t hurt.

*stay awake, there’s an ambulance on the way I see it
*the fuck do you care?
*ya you’ve been nothing but a dick
*hey shut up he’s trying to help
*eh, take off
*take off the whole lot of you
*FUCK YOU ALL
*thats it I’m leaving let me know if she dies
*shes immortal you idiot, she can’t die
*fucking newbs
*forget these morons
*ambulance is almost here guys

My vision is blurring… I know I’m not going to die, but i need time to heal… my eyelids drift shut slowly, and the last thing I see is the man looking at me and saying something, and a few last words from chat scrolling past...

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