The Immortal Chat: Episode 1

A couple of years ago as of writing this introduction in 2021, I had opened r/writingprompts and scrolled down to check out what they had to offer. One prompt caught my imagination and I started writing off it, for several episodes of this. After four or so entries I lost interest/direction in the story, but it was a fun idea that was being built up and I may have to pick it up again sometime.

Without further ado... I present old stories of mine!
~Belmont

| CW: swearing, some violence, some mature humor |
| Disclaimer: This an old writing style from several years ago. I do not endorse nor approve of things characters may say or do. |

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"Opening my eyes, I started running towards the edge of the roof and leaped off, catching hold of a much lower neighboring roof..."

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Episode 1

Well that went well. Sitting on the edge of a building, I’m just swinging my feet in the air like a little kid and watching the traffic go by below. How could I let that jerk get away from me? I must be off my game today.

*wtf was that
*that guy was all like fuvk you lol
*jesus you let him get away?
*well I guess we’re back to this
*ya just the boring sitting and waiting.
*Yawn!
*did nobody else notice that he misspelled fuck
*FUCK

I rolled my head to the side, stretching my neck before getting to my feet. No more pity partying, gotta get moving now.

*hey we’re moving woo
*BORING!
*ya this sucks do something interesting bitch
*take off your top and flash those tits
*wtf guys you’re gonna get our commands taken away for a month

Sighing, I started walking towards the opposite roof edge. The constant stream of comments was mostly ok, but a few dicks always managed to cause trouble.

“Guys, you better behave or I’ll drop commands for a week.”

*who cares ya cunt, give us a show
*omg shut up
*Fuck you ahole
*fuck all of you
*dont you mean Fuvk

I gave up and closed my eyes for a second, focusing. I could only block a small percentage of my spirit commenters, but at least I could quiet the worst of them.

“Ok I blocked the idiots. The rest of you, behave or I’m taking commands away.”

*ok ok jeez
*not my fault some people are dicks
*touchy touchy
*although ngl I wouldn’t mind if you went topless
*ho boi now you’ve done it
*im just speaking the truth
*fucking Jesus why are we still talking about this

Opening my eyes, I started running towards the edge of the roof and leaped off, catching hold of a much lower neighboring roof and slamming against the wall painfully. Gritting my teeth, I pulled myself up onto the rooftop before moving on to the next. I might be immortal, but I sure as hell could still feel pain.

*wtf did you just see that
*ya so what
*you must be a new guy
*yeah this is boring af
*what’s so cool?
*idk we got newb alert

I sprung up to grab the next roof, climbing up and running lightly to the center of the roof. Looking out over, I breathed out slowly and watched the city.

*we’re watching a babe doing fucking ninja moves that’s what
*dude that’s normal
*yeah this is definitely a new guy
*!newguy
*Chatbot: Welcome to chat new guy! Don’t be a dick and just chill and relax. We’ve got all eternity to hang out.
*fuck you
*fuck you too buddy
*wait did things just get gay?
*KappaPride KappaPride KappaPride
*KappaPride KappaPride
*KappaPride KappaPride KappaPride KappaPride KappaPride KappaPride
*wtf just happened
*just roll with it man

I chuckled at chat’s antics. Sometimes they got annoying, but they could be pretty fun too.

Glancing around, I spotted something in an alley nearby. A kidnapping… if I didn’t help now the girl would be gone before anyone knew what was happening. I darted across the roofs, perching on a wall just above the kidnappers. One of them was dragging her in a bundle, looked like she was drugged.

*oh man
*shut up and watch new guy
*this is gonna be good
*if she doesn’t at least draw blood this will be boring
*im taking bets
*my odds are on the guy with the pipe
*fuck ya you’re so on

Dropping onto the big one, there was a crack and he screamed, collapsing and clutching at his leg. Whipping out my knife I stung one of the others, and he stumbled away deeper into the alley with a muffled scream. I looked at the last guy.

*doooo it, finish him
*can always use another spirit in chat
*nah he’s not worth it
*look at his face omg I’m dying lmao
*you’re already dead
*FUCK
*im undead and you’re making me laugh back to death
*ROTFL

He looked at his two buddies, then at me. Dropping the girl, he ran away in terror. I wiped off the blood and sheathed my blade, then walked over and began untying the girl.

*did you see his face??
*i bet he wet himself
*nah he was too scared
*omg that was awesome
*meh, she didn’t kill anybody this time.
*Boring
*new guy, take a chill pill, it wasn’t that cool

Slinging the drugged girl across my shoulders, I started walking to the police station. Wasn’t too far luckily, so I was able to drop her at their door and run away like a bat outta hell, back to the relative safety of my beloved rooftops to watch again.

*annnnd we’re back
*the adventure continues…
*this is so cool
*new guy just watch. It gets better
*ya that was pretty tame
*fuck You guys this is awesome
*KappaPride
*i wish she’d fucked him up good tho
*you mean fuck him or kill him?
*why not both?
*wtf is wrong with you man
*we have creep alert
*!bow
*!bow
*Chatbot: bow chicka wow wow
*Chatbot: blarg chicka honk honk
*you mean Fuvk you

Laughing at chat, I took a breath and listened to the hum of the city. It’s so peaceful right now.

*alright guys imma brb, don’t let her do anything cool while I’m gone
*we’re spirits wtf you going?
*dont worry about missing anything newb, we’re gonna be here for a while
*we’re gonna be here for eternity so ya lol
*well until the endgame
*end of line
*Its game over man game over!
*hahahaha
*SourPls SourPls
*i love you guys

I smiled, looking over the city I protect. Things could be much worse, so much worse. But… I was helping people. I was punishing wrongdoers. And I had chat with me to keep me company.

Not a bad way to spend eternity.

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